...tHiS iS mE...

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Had a long day.

Have to do guard duty and it was so super tiring. Because my duty timing suck.

Today, there's inter platoon competition, and we won one out of four. The rest goes to platoon 7. And 9 got nothing.

OC announced the list of promotees. And I hate to me part of the audience cheering do those being promoted. Wearing a mask, smiling, laughing and cheering the enlistees on. Make it as if I can't careless about not being promoted.

When I heard the names of the enlistees from other platoon, I felt even worse.

Me losing to these people? I don't think this is quite right!

I am really hating it man. It suck to be me. I am too much a perfectionist for myself to take it. I want everything to be like how I pictured them to be. When it don't happen, I get upset and thinks negatively.

I stared penning some notes on my locker, hopefully it will help to smoothen things out.

the simple truth @ 10:43 PM

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Today we had 6k route march. With BPV. just wearing it alone made me breathless, and now we had to walk 6k!

Alright it's without fieldpack. Still the thought of it is a'lil scary. Oh, and I carried MG! Can't believe it man! That I can actully carry it for over a distance. Not the entire 6k, but still it's an achievement for me.

People are falling sick. Especially people from level four. Okay, I stay on the forth level. Still strong and healthy!

People from Alpha are replacing the sick to do duty. Kudos to them! Because of the spread of this epidemic within the coy, encik wants us to sun our mattress, change bedsheet etc. I have my own bedsheet. Still I help them to bring down their dirty laundry to change for new ones. Including blanket, people are so lazy that they threw it down to me. I bathed, I had my own bedsheet, I have to wait under the blazing sun for them to pass me the blankets.

I don't have to do this. But still I did it.

I heard for PS that even if I pass the course, I'll not be going over to HQ, that's a sad news for me.

Since I am not an asset, he should let me go. If he don't want me to go, then he sees me as an asset? And should promote me?

Think about it.

the simple truth @ 10:42 PM

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Things are returning to how it used to be. Prince is also GETTING back to how he used to be. But not entirely, at least no yet. A broken case can NEVER be made whole again, crack will always be there to remind you of the past.

Since the new Sarge came in, things how gotten worse around here. People shows no respect for him.

Yes, he's bad. But he's new to commandership. Should we not give him some time? No one is born with the knowledge of how to hold the mic.

Anyhow, I REALLY REALLY want to leave this place. Can't wait for my course to commence. Hopefully, I will be able to pass the course and then move to HQ.

Our new OC is a Guardsmen. And you know they say about them. Training is getting tough again.

Other NSF get easier life as they move into year two of their active years. Mine seems tougher, busier, and whatever.

When other people take on the role of red alert standby force, all they do during their standby is sleep, eat, and maybe some PT. But we had turn outs with scenarios. Eg terrorist bomb threat or something.

Oh, I totally forgot about the total solar eclispe. How can I missed it! Whatever.

Ha! We had to do peer appraisal today. Things couldn't happen at a more convenient timing. Alright, I know these appraisal are not really helpful towards my situation but still, it's a avenue for me to feed back.

the simple truth @ 10:41 PM

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I simply can't get over it!

Today I did my best. To create a show to make him deserving of the promotion. And that is to slack. Not sure why, but it ain't easy task.

I sit alone during meals. Ate fast and get out of the cookhouse. Try to fall in late. When doing fatigue work, tried to eye power them. Do shitty marhing. All these are really not east to do.

My buddy was saying these are not in my blood.

Perhaps he's right.

But I think I can only vent my anger this way for the moment.

I try to take them as role models.

How weird! A Best Soldier taking others as role model. I think they are too good to be best soldier. And that they make me one to encourage me to take after those too good to be one.

I have no outlet to let the steam out. Maybe I should go for counselling.

I wonder if these promotion delay is going to affect my resume?

Honestly. I wanted to be CFC but now, I think it's better that I stay PTE. Maybe. Maybe I can even be PFC! what a dream.

Prince, there are people out there better than you, those too good to be best soldier. How are you going to convince the commanders.

Prince, you should just slack all the way. It's tiring and it takes effort. But everything takes effort, even slacking. Perhaps slacking is a skill, a knowledge. Maybe I will not be able to acquire this special skill, but Prince, male effort to try!

Life keep getting harder here! I wanna get away!

the simple truth @ 12:03 PM

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A very unpleasant day for Prince.

Recently, there's been talks about promotion.

Prince, as a Diploma holder, is a capable candidate for command school. Thinking that he want a slack NS life, and so, he opt to not go command school.

Ever since Prince got posted to His unit, his performance is nothing short of good.

Here is what Prince does: he wakes up half an hour before revelie timing to ensure he's prepared for falling in. He also help wake his 2ic to wake the whole bunk at revelie timing.

He volunteers to do fatigue work whenever need to. He's tired of waiting for others to volunteer. Whenever seargent calls for volunteer, everyone will act blur or simply shut up. It's always the same old people doing things.

Prince noticed this kid with problems. With money, life and more. Prince often meet him before booking in, have a talk with him, listen to his problems, treat him to dinner.

He's got IPPT gold, ATP Marksman, cleared his SOC. Got best soldier of the month.

Prince performance is still not outstanding enough to be promoted.

PS if you're reading, I heard the reason from my 2ic. Honestly, the reason I heard is pretty much crap. UTTER CRAP!

That's the worst insult I received in my life!

I don't care about not being promoted but the spot is given to people UNDERSERVING? That's what make me so pissed. Yes, I am using the word "pissed"!

When people says merit is important. I say it's bullshit! I have no idea how to perform even better than I am now. Next time the person tells you about merit, ask him to go eat shit. There's no such thing in this society known as merit.

I am going to pass the course and get out of this platoon. Sorry to my platoon mates but I want to leave. I don't care if other place is worst off.

To COA, there many people who are really motivated to excel, to work hard, to do their best in the army. But things happen. Things that made these people want to give up doing their best.

Now, I strongly believe that my performance in the freaking platoon will drop. Nothing is based on performance. Maybe the commanders will like me better when I slack off! I am never going to volunteer myself ever again. NEVER! Mark my words!

the simple truth @ 12:01 PM

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Met up with my ex colleagues for UOBTP. We went to watch "Taking of Pelham 123". Not a bad movie, good actually. Probably 3.9 / 5? Yeah, I guess so. It's suppose to be quite a serious movie, because there's hostages taking, there's killing. Yet, in certain part, their conversation are pretty funny. One of the joke is that this guy saw a dog running, and taking a shit at the same time, and he call that "Super Multi-Tasking". ROFL!

After the movie, we went to Prive, at Keppel Bay. They had white wine and champagne. That place is quite nice just a little hot. Alright, at least they have fans. Prive is just beside the water, where many many rich people's yatch are parked. If i knew, only if I knew, that we can go down to the yatch parking area, I would have went there to take pics. Ya~ only if I knew.

Happy Fathers' Day to all Father!

To those people who have their father by their side out there, treasure your dads. Give them respect due to them. I am fatherless since 3yo. Sometimes I really wonder how does 父爱 feels like.

ATEC stage 1 is coming! They keep having us do weapon training, its boring for me. Not trying to show off here, but keep having recon 1 yet they still want us to do it. One component of ATEC is granade throwing, and I know not how to throw man! So "malu" whenever we have to throw granade.

Hmmm, please pray that my granade throwing will improve!! And that there will be not RT if we do not do well for that!!!

the simple truth @ 6:20 PM

Friday, June 19, 2009

Ok... what to say.. once again, it's been a long loooooooooooooooooooooooooong time...
recently things did not go as well as i want things to be...

As in in army. People from other platoons are saying that I act like a Sergeant, I act like a commander. I am just doing what everyone else should do. Things like falling in on time (I make it a point to always be early, actually), fast movement, volunteer when things need to be done. All these, if everyone does it properly, fast, then all will go well.

Nevermind those people.

Congrats to PTE Alex Lee, for getting Best Soldier of the month for the month of May. For his maturity... and somehting which i forgot... haha... WOW... 1 day off for me!

We have been given off these few weeks. which means book out!!! However, have been pretty lazy to go out. Did not even bother to ask people out.

And this make me kinda guitly. It been ages since we (Jeremy and I) last met up. I am so lazy!!

Oh ya! Last Sat, was supposed to go out with my ex colleagues for movies, dinner etc. The movie was "Drag me to Hell". This meeting was arranged days ago, tickets were bought then also. On the day of event, received a call.

"Hey Alex, we need you to come back to do guard duty, someone could not make it"

I tried to push away, but guess, i am not good at that. Gave in in the end.

What about the movie ticket? Too bad.. yeah~ i was literally DRAGGED TO HELL!

Few days ago (wed I think), we were doing fatigue work/sai gang cleaning the long gang. Guess who I saw then. ALEX CHAN KIN MENG!!!

I was like "SIR ALEX CHAN!!" haha.. pretty funny actually. OK!! He's an Officer, and I'm just a private. WHATEVER! I missed those BMT times when he always "HELLO~" his way. And we'll sing that Ado song.

My BMT buddy was telling me not to bother calling Sir, just call him Chan Kin Meng, if he pump me, then my buddy will TAKE CARE OF HIM. Hahaa...

Hmm... Hopefully next sat can meet up with all the officers, er, as in my bmt mates.

the simple truth @ 11:31 PM